더 볼 The Ball

前 조각가 K씨 ● 前 조각가 K씨는 요즈음 개점휴업 중이다. 작품 생산이 활발하지 못해서가 아니라 너무 많은 생각들 때문에 그러하다. K씨는, 원래 자신은 유목민인데 정착을 하면서 간이 콩알만해져서 지금과 같은 상태에 이르렀다고 생각하고 있다. ● K씨는, 작품에서 자신의 감정을 배제하고 싶었기 때문에 「○을 했어요」라는, 행위에 초점이 맞춰진 작업을 해왔다. 그 중 가장 젊은이다운 패기로(혹은 어리석음으로) 매진했던 작업은 「통쇠를 깎았어요」일 것이다. 「통쇠를 깎았어요」는, 설명이 필요 없이 명확한, 그러면서도 불가해한 아름다움을 지닌 작품이었다. 그런데 그는 예기치 않게 그 시리즈를 중단하게 되었다. 작품에 개입하려는 감정은 통제할 수 있었지만 그 외의 것들은 그렇게 하지 못했기 때문이었다(그의 연약한 육체도, PS1에서의 생활도, 작품의 행방도... ). 손가락 마디 하나를 잃고 그것도 모자라 「통쇠를 깎았어요」 세 점을 어이없이 도난 당한 K씨는 그 나머지들을 가지고 작업을 하기 시작한다. 쇳가루 ○○○들은 그렇게 시작되었다. 쇳가루로 글씨를 쓰며 들었다 놨다 반복하는 퍼포먼스는, 화를 내지 않을 수 없고 그것을 여과 없이 보여주기에는 화를 내는 자신이 부끄럽고... 그런 부조리한 상태에 놓인 K씨의 □이다. 쇳가루로 글씨를 쓰면서 굳이 수직성을 탐내어, 쇳가루는 흘러내리고, 글씨를 쓰는 사람도, 읽는 사람도, 모두 어려워졌다. 그래서 사람들은 그가 무엇을 썼는지 묻는다. 그는 그것을 말하고 싶지 않아, 단지, "그것은 슬픈 이야기에요."라고 말해왔다. 그런데 지금은 슬픈 이야기라고 말한 것이 부끄럽고, 심지어 '그것이 정말 슬픈 이야기였을까?'라는 생각마저 든다고 한다. 뭐라고 말했다 한들, 선택한 것과 그 나머지 것들 사이에서 혼란에 빠졌을 것이다. 작업을 하는 것도 마찬가지다. 그가 했던 작업이 지금의 그와 꼭 맞지 않는다고 느낀다고 해도, 그것은 그가 그것을 했기 때문에만 느낄 수 있는 것이다. 그렇기 때문에 K씨는 그러한 혼란을 작품을 통해서 해결하고자 하는 것이다. 그래서 그는 前作의 나머지로 작업을 시작한 것이다. 힘없고, 간이 콩알만하고, 그가 지닌 것이라고는 그의 연약한 육체와 모호한 사회적 지위(김종구를 네이버에서 검색하면, 前 조각가, 前 교수라고 나온다.)와 「통쇠를 깎았어요」의 잔해(쇳가루 120kg), 그리고 불확실한 기억뿐이다. 하지만 지금 그가 하고 있는 작업은 이상하게도 아름답다. 그것은 젊은 날 그가 했던 작업과는 다르다. 젊은 날의 작업이 더 좋다는 의미는 아니다. 그때는 간이 콩알만하지 않은 아름다움이 있었고 지금은 간이 콩알만하지만 간이 콩알만하지 않을 때는 없었던 다른 무언가가 있다. K씨는 잃어버린 ○ 대신, 원하지 않았음에도 찾아온 □으로 작업을 해 결국은 ○을 다시 마주한다. 지금은 상실한 것이기에 K씨는 이제야 그것이 무엇인지 알게 되었다. 통쇠를 깎은 것도, 백기를 든 것도, 쇳가루로 ○을 한 것도 모두 K씨이지만, 깎인 쇳덩어리도, 잘려나간 손가락도, 쇳가루 ○도 모두 K씨와는 다른 운명을 지닌 독립된 존재로서 각자의 여행을 시작했고, 이제 K씨에게 남은 일은 쇳가루 60kg(도난 당한 세 점의 「통쇠를 깎았어요」의 잔해 중 지금까지 절반 정도를 사용했다.)을 떠나보내는 것이다. K씨에게 그것을 소진해야 할 의무는 없지만 딱히 다른 할 일도 없고 해서, 이렇게 저렇게 남은 쇳가루를 떠나 보내고 있다. 그렇게 K씨는, 개점휴업 상태의 자신의 운명과 그가 떠나 보내고, 언젠가 다가올 또 다른 작품의 운명을 맞이하고 있다. ■ 이지은

EX SCULPTOR MR. K ● Kim JongKu is an artist and associate professor of Ehwa Womans Univ.; however, naver(Korea's No.1 search engine) says he is an ex sculptor and ex professor. At that time, I thought all I got was useless information, but, intriguingly, it unexpectedly reveals difficult truth about the artist. So, I titled this short story Ex sculptor Mr. K and am so pleased that naver gave me the false information. ● These days, Mr. K is in an inactive state. It's not because of his poor productivity but because of his difficult, seemingly endless, sequestered struggling between his products and himself. By this time, he has done with Did sth series, such as Pooed and Carved out of a single piece of iron, Held the white flag... Pooed was his graduation project for Seoul National Univ. At that time, he was so sick of interpreting the nature arbitrarily like deformation on sculpture, so wanted to shut emotions of the artist himself, focus on acting, and discover something beyond his imagination. He got to the point with this project. It was, nevertheless, an isolated case, so he decided to discontinue it. ● After he graduated Univ., he started to work on Carved out of a single piece of iron series which was full of young spirit and ambitions. The sculpture told its own story and it has impenetrable beauty which comes from the simple pleasure of labor. It seemed that his career as an artist had reached its highest potential with that series. However, an absurd episode changed the fate of Mr. K and his sculpture. During the project, he injured his finger at PS1 and he felt it was unsustainable. Nevertheless, Mr. K decided to make another attempt, devoted himself to the project once more, and made three pieces of Carved out of a single piece of iron in a dark and severe heat boiler room somewhere down in the UK. However, somebody took his pieces away from the sculpture garden where he was supposed to exhibit them. It was a very significant loss of the artist, so after the accident, he left to solitude. Then he decided to stop the project. It's probably because he had his finger cut off or his young spirit was gone. At any rate, the project closed with its mysterious disappearance. He was so depressed and angry but tried to keep his temper under discipline in public. For a little while it seemed that it had worked. Yet, as time passed he couldn't contain himself for anger, had to express it. Thus, he started to work with the rest of the stolen sculpture(When he lost his work, 120kg of iron shavings were left in the boiler room.), by emphasizing its absence, he wanted to show how important it was. Yes; that's how it all started. Indeed, Iron shavings painting has such an interesting background. It's a derivative of the loss, a form of death, and going back is life. He wrote calligraphy on canvas with iron shavings of the stolen piece, and presented it with vertical installation, so iron shavings had raced down, and the letters became very hard to read. Sometimes people ask him what all the letters mean. He never really answer the question, just says, "This is a sad story." In time, the question was raised again, and he asked back himself, 'Was it a sad story, indeed?' Saying conclusively is always precarious. It is risky because there is a lot of tension between what is said and what is not. However, by doing so, he could view himself objectively. Even we all don't know exactly what it means, that does not matter. Above all, it's a painting not calligraphy, so if people can't read the letter, it successfully deliver a message as a painting. Furthermore, there is no fixed view and meaning. For that reason, Mr. K presents this object from various points of view. Sometimes, he takes it picture horizontally to show a very poetic landscape of small piles of iron shavings. Perhaps the only thing we can be sure of is change in this work. ● During this period, he felt he became a cowardly man and thought there's a contradiction like a 'nomad settlement'. He is not sure if he should continue this work, but despite the uncertainty, he won't stop it until will use up all iron shavings(He has only used about half of it.). I cannot tell what may happen in this project. I can only tell that Iron shavings painting is very poetic and has an indescribable charm, yet, it contains unfiltered emotions of the artist himself. ■ Lee ZyEun

Vol.20111126e | 김종구展 / KIMJONGKU / 金鍾九 / photography